This is the third post in my blog series about recharging and resetting your life, what I call retreating.<\/p>\n
Crouched on the grassy hill in the rolling countryside of Devon, England, I braced myself against the sharp wind and intermittent rain. Even though I was wearing two layers plus a rain shell, the blustery weather seeped through the zipper in my jacket and up under my back. I was shivering, damp, and loving it. Why? In my lap I cradled a deer\u2019s head while she lay on the ground, pregnant with a difficult birth. The veterinarian was on his way to help. As an American volunteer at a private red deer park, I was experiencing the life of James Herriot, whose books about being an animal doctor in post-WWII England are among my all-time favorites. For me, this was the perfect retreat from college-student life for a semester. How did I get to do it? Find out in next week\u2019s post.<\/p>\n
Have you ever thought this: When I have the time to go away, I don\u2019t have the money. When I have the money, I don\u2019t have the time.<\/em><\/p>\n It\u2019s a catch-22 but mostly of our own making. I\u2019ll explain.<\/p>\n Time and money used to be my enemies because I falsely believed there wasn\u2019t enough of either. That began to change when a friend introduced me to the concept that life is a result of our input. From our emotional state to our job, where we live, and whether we enjoy life is largely down to us as individuals. We co-create (with the higher power of our choice) our experiences based on our beliefs, attitudes, and especially our response to situations.<\/p>\n Yes, the hand we\u2019re dealt at birth and growing up plays a huge role. Socio-economic status and physical and mental abilities can heavily influence our experience. Yet, there are countless stories of people who have beat all odds to live a fulfilling life or even become massive successes. But it is our response<\/em> to and attitude<\/em> about what life throws at us that can make or break us. Volumes have been written on this topic, so I won\u2019t here.<\/p>\n As for my perceived enemies, time and money, gradually I changed my attitude about them. And guess what? I began finding the time and resources to do and have things that I thought were out of reach. The other result was that new fears popped up, mostly centered around guilt or obligation. They were like little devils trying to prevent me from enjoying life. The ego will do anything to keep us \u201cin our (deprived) place.\u201d Do yourself a life-changing favor and ignore the noise! Having the ability to experience shame when it\u2019s appropriate and deserved is a good thing; guilt just beats you up for no reason. Fulfilling promises and commitments honestly and freely given is healthier than feeling obligated, especially when the obligation\u2019s parents are pressure and guilt.<\/p>\n The benefits of my new outlook snowballed. Sure, dips happen, but my life\u2019s trajectory keeps moving upward thanks to my attitude and my commitment to stay positive. Tenacity also helps. However, I don\u2019t improve without support. Periodic retreats, long and short, have given me the breaks and personal tools I need to make big decisions, see things from another perspective, and grow as a person.<\/p>\n If you think that going on retreat is a luxury, I invite you to reconsider. Funds may be tight, but it\u2019s all about priorities. Yes, retreating might be a luxury if you\u2019re eyeballing two weeks at a health spa in Sedona. But you don\u2019t have to go to exotic places for a five-star treatment to benefit from retreating. You have plenty of less expensive options for the same\u2014or better\u2014gains.<\/p>\n If you think you don\u2019t have time for retreating, I say you can\u2019t afford NOT to take time off from your daily life to care for yourself.<\/p>\n Do you know why flight attendants instruct us to secure our own oxygen mask first and then<\/em> help others? Because we\u2019re going to be pretty useless trying to help dependents with their needs then pass out from lack of oxygen ourselves\u2014or from exhaustion or stress or some health issue that requires rest or worse, time in the hospital.<\/p>\n You are no good to your dependents if you don\u2019t take care of yourself as well. (Search \u201ccaregiver stress syndrome\u201d online. And it doesn\u2019t just apply to people looking after the sick and elderly. You can suffer from the demands of raising a plain \u2018ole family.)<\/p>\n Pro tip:<\/strong> Replace \u201cI don\u2019t have the time\u201d with \u201cI\u2019ll try to make the time\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t have the money\u201d with \u201cHow can I make this happen?\u201d Then see what happens.<\/p>\n Unconscious beliefs are strong, even if false. That\u2019s why you have to consciously replace self-defeating thoughts with ones that better serve you. You have to be vigilant to catch yourself from backsliding until your new, positive thought patterns become the norm.<\/p>\n Know this: Ain\u2019t no one gonna care about you as much as you and your mamma. And there comes a time when there\u2019s only so much your mamma can do. So it\u2019s pretty much down to you to look after you.<\/p>\n So how do you afford a retreat with bills and jobs and families? Money-wise it\u2019s easier than you think. You just have to be creative if your budget doesn\u2019t include a Me Time bucket. Time-wise it\u2019s about setting priorities. I\u2019m not talking about months away at an ashram in India, unless you can do that. You can do a daylong, free, retreat in your own home town and benefit greatly.<\/p>\n You can finance retreats by various means using the following strategies:<\/p>\n Caring for yourself is NOT a luxury. It\u2019s not something you can wait to do after the kids leave home or after you retire or after the person you\u2019re nursing dies. And one way to get that self-care is by retreating, even if just for a few hours a week.<\/p>\n Next week, I\u2019ll dive deeper into some strategies for helping finance a retreat, including creating your own retreat for little or no money.<\/p>\n For links to retreats and other resources, visit my Resources<\/a> page. You can also take a short, fun quiz<\/a> to gauge your retreat readiness.<\/p>\n\n