With all this scary talk about the reemergence of strongmen\nrulers around the globe, I\u2019d like to propose a kinder, gentler approach to\nauthoritarianism: the Benevolent Dictator. Power is corrupt only if the persons\nwho brandish it do so without regard to how their actions affect others. The Benevolent\nDictator, however, uses her power for the good of all. When I\u2019m elected\nBenevolent Dictator of the Universe (BDU), I will decree the following laws\u2014for\nstarters. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
General Decrees<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Abolish Daylight\nSaving Time<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n This nonsense of changing clocks twice a year not only makes\nfor crabby people in early spring, its affects have been correlated with health\nissues. Some of the more serious issues include increased heart attacks,\nstrokes, suicides, car accidents, and work-related accidents. Moving the clocks\nahead is said to make the day longer. That\u2019s like cutting an inch off one end\nof a ruler and gluing it to the other end to make the ruler longer. Hello<\/em>, the day doesn\u2019t get longer by\nmoving the clock ahead one hour. (And we say people who buy lottery tickets are\nbad at math!) If you want more daylight in the evening, we can keep the clocks at\nDaylight Saving Time time\u2014and just call it \u201ctime.\u201d It might not make morning\npeople, like your BDU, happy to lose the daylight earlier in the 24-hour cycle,\nbut she\u2019s willing to compromise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Require Cashiers to\nWait Until You Put Your Money Away<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n How many of you have ever fumbled to put your change or\ncredit card in your wallet after making an in-store purchase because the\ncashier starts scanning the next person\u2019s items before you have a chance to\nstow your dough? The cashier\u2019s attention is now on the next person in line, and\nsuddenly you\u2019re persona non grata<\/em>. (Yes,\nsome of us old school folk still pay in cash.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cashiers will be required to wait until you are ready to\nwalk away\u2014money or card securely stowed\u2014before scanning the next customer\u2019s\nitems. Store owners, before you complain about the potential to slow checkout traffic,\nyour BDU would like to know, what\u2019s the\nhurry?<\/em> We could all benefit from slowing down, and your customers aren\u2019t\ngoing to stop shopping at your place because you show them a little more care\nand attention. Besides, if you\u2019re going under, blame it on online retailers,\nnot the courteous treatment of your clientele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pluck Texting Drivers from\nTraffic<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Using really powerful magnets, robocopters will pluck\nvehicles with drivers who are simultaneously texting. Robocopters will be\nequipped with sensors that can sniff out a driving texter from as far away as\nfive miles. Vehicles will be dropped in a detention parking area sufficiently\nfar away from the driver\u2019s destination to make it punitive enough to deter that\ndriver from ever texting again. To, uh, drive the point home, the driver and\nvehicle will be detained for a minimum of 30 minutes for a first offense. An\nadditional 15 minutes will be added to each subsequent offense. At first, the\nskies may be darkened by robocopters because of the sheer prevalence of driver\u2013texters.\nHowever, your BDU is confident that the punishment is enough to reduce the\noffense by at least half in the first six months. No, robocopters don\u2019t exist\nyet, but your BDU can put as much money as she wants toward hiring really smart\ninventors to create them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Reconfigure Public\nRestrooms<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Tired of the bathroom wars? Women, have you ever eyeballed\nthe Gents\u2019, wondering whether you could just slip in there\u2014no line!\u2014while\nqueuing up outside the door of the Ladies\u2019 waiting for a stall when you really,\nreally, really<\/em> had to pee? Have you\never wondered why bathroom stalls are open at the bottom and top so that everyone\ncan clearly hear everyone else\u2019s business?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Full-length stalls are a start for privacy, but they don\u2019t\nsolve the problem of insufficient real estate to meet the needs of a certain\npopulation (i.e., the Ladies\u2019), nor the issue of who is allowed to use which\ncrapper. Contrary to fear-based belief, people who are born with boy parts but\nwho prefer girl parts do not \u201cchange\u201d their gender just so\u2019s they can get a\ngander at girls doing their business. With that fact in mind, your BDU will\nmake the following changes in public restrooms:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Require Citizens to Do\nTwo Years of Public Service<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve ever volunteered for a social services group, a\nreligious community, school, or other nonprofit, you know how critical your\ncontributions are to these organizations. Your BDU believes everyone has a gift\nto offer and she wants you to share it! You can choose how you\u2019d like to serve,\nand you\u2019ll get a living wage to do so. Serve the environment, children, the\nelderly, differently abled populations, animals, whatever. You can also serve\nin local, state, or federal government capacities, including the military. Your\nchoices are endless and your gifts needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Offer Free\nSterilization to All Adults<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Getting the snip is probably not foremost on many people\u2019s\nminds. For one, it can be expensive, especially if you\u2019re a woman, which for\nobvious reasons takes more anesthesia and is riskier. Secondly, the thought can\ninduce the heebie-jeebies, even for those who don\u2019t want children or are done having\nchildren but fear the potential of a pollywog of passion slipping through the\ngates. But what if sterilization was free? Getting something for nothing if\noften incentive enough to persuade people to reduce their genetic contributions\nto the world. Who doesn\u2019t want free stuff? Having fewer unwanted children would\nhave numerous benefits, including fewer parents developing financial\ndifficulties or needing welfare; fewer unloved or neglected souls growing into\ntroubled adults; less demand on resources; and simply fewer people to add to\nthe already overburdened Earth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Limit Prescription\nDrug Prices to a Maximum of $10<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Drug-makers claim their prices are high to \u201crecover\u201d\nexpenses incurred from research and development (R&D). However, there is\nevidence that much of their expenses go toward drug marketing\u2014not development. Further,\nmany drug-makers get federal funding or public grants to help with R&D, so\nit\u2019s actually your<\/em> money at work to\ncreate the drug. That\u2019s like someone charging you to store your bicycle in your\nown garage. Worse, ever notice how the more a drug is needed to save a life,\nthe more money manufacturers charge, even though it doesn\u2019t necessarily cost\nthem more to make? That\u2019s like someone charging you to ride your own bicycle because\nit will make you healthier. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Manufacturers know that we believe our and our loved ones\u2019\nlives are priceless, so we\u2019ll spend whatever it takes to keep ourselves and our\nloved ones alive. Yet people still die because they can\u2019t afford the medication.\nOr they\u2019re forced to choose between eating or paying rent and taking their\nmedication. What kind of person would put another person in this situation? A\ngreedy, heartless wrongdoer with ice water in his veins. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So let\u2019s break this down into its constituent parts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. There is a lot of money in drugs, (we\u2019re talking legal\ndrugs here). Limiting the amount charged would force manufacturers to focus on\ntruly making people better rather than seeing how much they can squeeze you for\nbefore you die. Those who are in it for the money would either get religion or\nget out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Some of the most prevalent drugs either treat or mask\nsymptoms of common lifestyle ailments (e.g., heart conditions, high blood\npressure, high cholesterol, and stress and anxiety). My people, your BDU would\nhumbly like to point out that these\nconditions are almost entirely under your control<\/em>. In other words, change\nyour lifestyle, change your health, abandon your need for drugs. It is no\nsecret that eating a healthy diet, exercising, and controlling your stresswould eliminate, or severely reduce, your\nneed for many of these lifestyle drugs. Some conditions may be genetic;\nhowever, evidence shows that although a tendency toward high blood pressure,\nfor example, may be in your DNA, in most cases you have the power to turn on or\noff that potential through your lifestyle choices (i.e., diet, exercise, and\nstress management). Time to stop paying drug manufacturers for an endless ride\non the merry-go-round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. See Education-Related\nDecrees<\/strong>. With these in play, we will be less dependent on drugs to make us\nfeel better. Also, we will be better equipped about how to control our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Education-Related\nDecrees<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Guarantee Early\nChildhood Education for All Children<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Sufficient evidence-based studies demonstrate that children\nwho get left behind in reading and other educational stimulation from an early\nage rarely catch up to their more-advantaged peers. Poorly educated children turn\ninto adults who tend to earn lower wages, in often menial tasks, and sometimes\nhave behavioral, cognitive, and\/or physical issues that prevent them from\nrealizing their full potential. Some turn to crime. In other words, if you\u2019re\nstill tying your shoes when the starting gun is fired, your chances of catching\nup to the rest of the pack are slim. How many brilliant minds are wasted, how\nmany talented persons denied the chance to share their gifts, because we have\nnot provided the necessary sunshine and water for children to flourish into\nhealthy adults? It\u2019s not money or resources we lack, it\u2019s the will to make\nsmall but obvious changes that will significantly improve the lives of our most\nprecious asset. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If everyone has a fair\nchance at education<\/em>, you ask, who\u2019s\ngoing to do the menial, yet necessary, jobs?<\/em> Teenagers, of course! (Think\ncharacter and skills building.) And people for whom a job is suited. Even with\na fair chance at education, not everyone will want to be\u2014or be capable of\nbeing\u2014a brain surgeon or research scientist. A place for everyone and everyone\nin their chosen niche. Also, by putting value on all work, regardless what it\nis, your BDU will ensure her people know their service to the Universe is\nappreciated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Make the Following\nPart of the K\u201312 School Curriculum<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Physical Education, Playtime, and Healthful Cooking<\/p>\n\n\n\n Everyone benefits from movement, and what kid doesn\u2019t like\nto play? The earlier in life we instill physical activity and healthy eating,\nincluding learning how to cook healthful foods, the greater the chance of\nreducing early onset diabetes and overweight\/obesity. Down-the-road benefits\ninclude healthier, happier adults and reduced healthcare costs. What\u2019s not to\nlike?<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Art, Music, Yoga, and Meditation<\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t just blindly follow your BDU\u2019s belief in the\ntransformative power of creating and appreciating art and music. Studies show\nthat music can help develop language and reasoning skills, improve memory,\nincrease coordination, and build imagination and curiosity (the stepmother of\ninvention), among many other benefits. Similarly, creating art has shown to\nimprove, well, creativity, and to promote teamwork and teach patience, among\nother benefits. Practicing yoga and meditation reduces anxiety and increases\npositive moods, energy, and the ability to relax. What parent would object to a\nchild who can better manage stress and demonstrate more self-control?<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Public Service and Conflict Resolution <\/p>\n\n\n\n Is it your BDU\u2019s imagination, or do kids these days seem to act more and more entitled? If whining youngsters make you wanna shout, your BDU has a decree for that: Put them to work serving others for three hours a week, and don\u2019t spare them a little discomfort. While your DBU doesn\u2019t advocate treating children like rented mules, they need to know what elbow grease is for. Public service does double duty teaching compassion and walking in others\u2019 shoes. And our little volunteers also might learn something about themselves and the world. If nothing else, they will have earned that screen time. If the youngsters complain, remind them that they have the opportunity to let it all go during mandatory meditation and yoga! As for conflict resolution, we can work it out. All we need is peace, love, and understanding\u2014and a few teachable soft skills, plus a BDU that really does have her peoples\u2019 best interests in mind. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"